It. Has been. A while.
Wow.
Hello.
I am Amanda. It is 2015. I am 21 now.
I am no longer dating Chris, we broke up last year in May. Lot's of stuff has gone on, but another guy was interested in me and tried to pull me away from Chris, and I ended up not being with him, and I wanted Chris back, but he said no, so I got over it...
And then I dated someone else at the end of 2014, and his name is Fernando. We met at MechaCon 2014. It was by far, one of my favorite cons because of him. We were basically inseparable from the day we met. However, he and I are no longer together either. I decided that I'm not ready to be in a relationship right now and I need to figure some things out and experience some things. Fernando is 25 and had some run ins with drugs and wild parties and interesting friends, so he has gone through some HARDCORE things, and had a hard time understanding where I was coming from because he's already experienced most of what I was feeling inadequate without.
However, though I feel like being in a relationship is a burden for me right now, I am finding out, I love him more than anything. I want to be with him.
I really hurt him with the break up and in return, he kind of broke, and his emotions are locked away and he is VERY wary of me, and it was hard for him to let me back in. But he let me in of his own volition. I did not contact him.
He loves me, and I love him and... It's hard right now.
And school is hard right now. Music is hard, you guys. But I'm doing my best.
I'm also trying to get a job, I spent a lot of today filling out online applications. No one will see this... But this is like a diary to me, and I should try to use it again.
I feel bad looking back at all of my posts about Chris... I still love him, but it's a different feeling than with Fernando. But it used to be this passionate. I don't know what's up with me. I don't know how I should feel or what I should do or what I should say...
But welcome back to my life, blog. Welcome back.
This is Fernando, by the way:
Wow.
Hello.
I am Amanda. It is 2015. I am 21 now.
I am no longer dating Chris, we broke up last year in May. Lot's of stuff has gone on, but another guy was interested in me and tried to pull me away from Chris, and I ended up not being with him, and I wanted Chris back, but he said no, so I got over it...
And then I dated someone else at the end of 2014, and his name is Fernando. We met at MechaCon 2014. It was by far, one of my favorite cons because of him. We were basically inseparable from the day we met. However, he and I are no longer together either. I decided that I'm not ready to be in a relationship right now and I need to figure some things out and experience some things. Fernando is 25 and had some run ins with drugs and wild parties and interesting friends, so he has gone through some HARDCORE things, and had a hard time understanding where I was coming from because he's already experienced most of what I was feeling inadequate without.
However, though I feel like being in a relationship is a burden for me right now, I am finding out, I love him more than anything. I want to be with him.
I really hurt him with the break up and in return, he kind of broke, and his emotions are locked away and he is VERY wary of me, and it was hard for him to let me back in. But he let me in of his own volition. I did not contact him.
He loves me, and I love him and... It's hard right now.
And school is hard right now. Music is hard, you guys. But I'm doing my best.
I'm also trying to get a job, I spent a lot of today filling out online applications. No one will see this... But this is like a diary to me, and I should try to use it again.
I feel bad looking back at all of my posts about Chris... I still love him, but it's a different feeling than with Fernando. But it used to be this passionate. I don't know what's up with me. I don't know how I should feel or what I should do or what I should say...
But welcome back to my life, blog. Welcome back.
This is Fernando, by the way: